Bed-Wetting in Older Children: Understanding and Supporting Your Child
Bed-wetting is a common concern among parents of older children. While it is often associated with toddlers and preschoolers, many children up to the age of ten continue to experience nighttime accidents and may need to continue wearing larger-sized pull-ups at night. Understanding the causes, emotional impact, and possible solutions can help parents support their children through this phase with patience and encouragement.
Why Does Bed-Wetting Occur in Older Children?
While many children will become dry through the night (either sleeping through and not needing to urinate until morning or waking up to go to the toilet in the night), many children take a lot longer to become dry at night. Bed-wetting in children up to ten years old is very common, and can be caused by a variety of factors, including:
Developmental Delays – Some children’s bladders simply take longer to mature, making it difficult for them to hold urine overnight.
Hormonal Factors – The body produces an antidiuretic hormone (ADH) that helps reduce urine production at night. Some children do not produce enough of this hormone, leading to excessive nighttime urination. Again, this could be due to a developmental delay and most children will eventually start producing enough of the hormone to become dry at night.
Deep Sleep Patterns – Children who are deep sleepers may not wake up when their bladder signals the need to urinate. Most children who sleep so soundly they don’t wake up to urinate will eventually grow out of this and be able to wake up in time to get to the toilet.
Genetic Predisposition – If one or both parents experienced bed-wetting as children, there is a higher likelihood their child may as well.
Stress and Anxiety – Emotional stress, changes in routine, or significant life events (such as starting a new school or the arrival of a sibling) can contribute to bed-wetting. If a child who was previously dry and night starts bed-wetting again, this will often only be for a brief period until the emotional stress/change in routine settles down again.
Medical Conditions – While rare, underlying medical issues such as urinary tract infections (UTIs), diabetes, or constipation can contribute to bed-wetting. A doctor can diagnose any medical issues that may be at play.
The Emotional Impact of Bed-Wetting
Whatever the reason is for it happening, older children who wet the bed may feel embarrassed, ashamed, or frustrated. These feelings can impact their self-esteem and social interactions, particularly if they choose to avoid sleepovers or overnight activities for fear of an accident. It is essential for parents to reassure their children that bed-wetting is not their fault and to approach the situation with empathy and support rather than punishment or criticism.
Strategies to Manage and Reduce Bed-Wetting
Encourage Healthy Hydration Habits: Ensure your child drinks enough fluids during the day but limit large amounts of liquids in the evening close to bedtime.
Let Deep Sleepers Sleep: If your child is a deep sleeper and does not wake up when they need to urinate, it is generally best to keep them in pull-ups and let them sleep rather than waking them in the middle of the night. Waking them up can lead to sleep disturbances for the whole family, without necessarily improving the child’s bladder control. In most cases, over time, as children’s bodies mature they will develop the ability to stay dry overnight on their own.
Use Protective Bedding: Waterproof mattress covers can make cleanup easier and reduce stress for both the child and parent.
Use Positive Reinforcement: Reward dry nights – or times when a child manages to wake up and go to the toilet in the night – with praise or a small incentive to boost confidence and motivation.
Bed-Wetting Alarms: Special bed-wetting alarms detect moisture and wake the child up when wetting begins. They can help some children develop more awareness of their bladder activity at night. Personally, unless an older child is highly motivated to stop bed-wetting and is happy to try using this kind of alarm, I would stay away from them. Alarms might not be effective in training the child to wake when they need to urinate, and may result in disturbed nights or even distress to the child without effective results.
Consult a Paediatrician: If bed-wetting persists despite these strategies as the child grows older, you may want to consult a doctor to help rule out medical concerns and provide additional treatment options. However, if the child is showing no signs of pain or discomfort when they urinate and is generally well in themselves, the likelihood is they will grow out of bed-wetting with time.
Coping with Sleepovers: If an your older child who bed-wets wants to go to sleepover at a friend’s house, there is no reason why they can’t. It’s a good idea to give them a pouch or toiletry bag with a zip with a pull-up inside to pack and tell them to go to the bathroom to put it on under their pyjamas just before they go to bed. It might be helpful to also give them a small bin bag to use to discreetly dispose of it in the morning, either in the bin or by bringing it home with them wrapped in the bin bag. This way, the other children won’t even notice that your child still wears pull-ups. If you or your child is really concerned, it’s a good idea to tell the parent of the child having the sleepover that your child will be bringing a pull-up, and they can help them to deal with it discreetly if necessary.
Patience and Encouragement Are Key:
Bed-wetting in older children is usually a temporary issue that resolves with time. Providing a supportive and understanding environment will help your child feel more secure as they work through this phase. By addressing the issue with compassion and practical strategies, parents can help their children build confidence and develop nighttime dryness at their own pace. While certain strategies might help some children to be dry at night sooner, for others, it could be best just to leave them in nighttime pull-ups and let them sleep (particularly if they are very deep sleepers). My daughter was a brilliant sleeper from birth, and wasn’t dry at night until she was 8 simply because she sleeps so soundly she just didn’t wake up. Then, suddenly one morning, she woke up with a dry pull-up and that was it. She never needed to wear them again and hasn’t had a single nighttime accident. My son who is nearly 7 still isn’t dry at night, but I know this is also because he’s just such a deep sleeper and he will get there with time.
If you have concerns about your child’s bed-wetting or notice other symptoms, don’t hesitate to speak with a healthcare professional for guidance. However, if your child seems happy and healthy and is getting plenty of sleep, try not to worry too much about the fact they’re not dry at night even if it seems like everyone else’s kids have been dry for years. Most children will get there in the end, so for now, try to stop worrying and just let them sleep!
Links and Resources:
The following links are affiliate links. This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive a small affiliate commission at no extra cost to you. All product recommendations and product opinions remain my own.
Lynmark® Kids Potty Training Bed Pad – Toddler & Single Size Bed: https://amzn.to/43rFb87
These pull-ups feel a bit more ‘grown-up’ for older kids:
Huggies DryNites, Girls’ Pyjama Pants, Sizes 4-7 Years (30 Pants): https://amzn.to/4lBhel9
Huggies DryNites, Boys’ Pyjama Pants, Sizes 8-13 Years (52 Pants):https://amzn.to/3QUAkos
Huggies DryNites, Girls’ Night Time Pants, Sizes 8-13 Years (52 Pants): https://amzn.to/42jABYx
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