The Preparation
Having use the hypnobirthing techniques I learned with The Wise Hippo Birthing Programme so successfully in my first pregnancy and birth, I was determined to set aside time each day even earlier on in the pregnancy this time to make sure I was as prepared as possible. This, together with regular walks and yoga ensured I was as relaxed and calm as possible in the run-up to the birth, something I feel is an essential part of being more likely to achieve a natural birth with the use of as few drugs as possible.
Our baby boy was diagnosed with a cleft lip at the 20-week scan (we wouldn’t know if his palate would be affected as well until the birth) so we were prepared. The hardest part of the diagnosis for me was that, if the palate was affected, I most likely wouldn’t be able to breastfeed him. Throughout the rest of the pregnancy I was scanned more regularly than usual, and although we were told that everything else looked fine apart from his lip, I knew my husband and I would always have doubts until we held a healthy baby in our arms. The diagnosis made me even more determined to use hypnobirthing to achieve as calm and natural a birth as possible to give our little boy the best possible start to life. I really wanted a water birth and knew that practising hypnobirthing every day as well as keeping fit and healthy would be key in helping me to achieve this. I did most of my meditation in the bath, listening to the wonderful Wise Hippo mp3s for hours in the evenings in the water. The baby obviously felt me relax every time I was in the water because he always got really active at that time.
The Birth
We knew he was a big baby from early on in the pregnancy. I actually took a photograph of his growth chart before handing my maternity notes over to the hospital after he was born, as my bump size had been falling off the bottom of the chart while his growth was measuring on the 90th centile until 37 weeks (after that the bump did measure an average size). It just didn’t make any sense and everyone including the midwives thought it was pretty funny.
At four days overdue on Thursday 3rd May, we went into the hospital for another growth scan at 4.15pm. They told us it was looking like the baby might be over 9lb, that they wanted to do a sweep and then if that didn’t get things moving they would book me in for induction at ten days overdue. They said any longer overdue than that and the risk of shoulder dysplasia was increased which sounded pretty horrible so we agreed that sounded like a good plan. The midwife told me to use my hypnobirthing techniques while she performed the sweep. When she finished she told me she was amazed at how good a sweep she had managed to do because I was so relaxed. It was so successful that I had immediately gone from 2 to 5cm! Even the midwife couldn’t believe it. She told my husband to go and get the hospital bags out of the car as she thought I would go into labour very soon. It was such an exciting moment, and actually we immediately relaxed because my mother-in-law was already at home with our daughter so timing wise it worked out perfectly.
She was right, and my surges started within two hours of having the sweep. They just felt like little tightenings to start with before growing in intensity. Before we knew it, we were taken to a room with a birthing pool on the midwife-led unit and my husband immediately pointed out it was the same room where I’d been in labour with our first baby!
I was feeling incredibly relaxed and calm at this point and surges properly began at about 8.30pm. I was messaging groups of friends on my phone whilst bouncing up and down on a birthing ball to get things moving. I then put my phone away as the contractions started getting more intense, and my husband put on my playlist.
After around seven hours of labouring, with some extremely intense surges in the front and the back (I managed to get through them using my TENS machine, gas and air and my Wise Hippo breathing techniques), our baby was born in the water at 4.32am. Putting my hands down and feeling his head emerging is one of the most magical things I’ve ever experienced. ‘I can feel his hair, and his face and his cleft lip!’ I cried out. I was a bit concerned that he seemed to feel stuck with his head half in and half out but the midwife told me everything was fine and just to gently breath him out using the surges to help. I remember taking a deep breath and reminding myself not to push as I knew if I did I might tear, and I breathed him out really gently into the water. I was so surprised that it had all happened so calmly that the midwives had to remind me to scoop him up from the bottom of the pool while my husband said to me, ‘Don’t sit on his head!’ I fumbled around and managed to catch him, and slowly brought him up to the surface. His birth was so calm that at first he didn’t cry at all, he just looked up at us, blinking. He looked quite grey, but after a few minutes started to go pink. He was absolutely perfect. The midwives gently checked inside his mouth when he finally did start crying and it was clear to see the cleft in his soft palate as well. Before the birth, I was preparing for myself to feel upset if his palate was affected as well. In fact, holding our perfect, beautiful boy in my arms with my husband right by my side, all the worry about his lip and which parts of his mouth might/might not be affected melted away. The cleft in his lip actually looked incredibly sweet, and the relief that he seemed absolutely fine in all other respects was immense.
St Mary’s Hospital in Manchester bent over backwards for us after the birth, even more so than usual because of his cleft. They left us in our own room on the delivery ward until 10pm that evening and then moved us onto the postnatal ward so I could get the help I might need through the night with feeding him. I was feeling so good after such a calm, natural birth (no pain ‘down there’ at all – it honestly didn’t even feel any different to before my baby boy came out of there!) that I had a lovely, relaxing time overnight and the next day. With our daughter safely at home with her dad, it felt like I was at a spa! The baby slept really well and I had to set an alarm to wake him up to syringe feed him some pre-expressed colostrum. I got a decent amount of sleep, was regularly brought food and drinks by lovely midwives, and got to spend some precious one-on-one time bonding with him before heading home the following afternoon to begin life caring for a newborn and a toddler. The birth couldn’t have gone better. We now had two beautiful, healthy children and I was feeling on top of the world and like the luckiest woman alive.
Home Time
We were actually discharged at lunchtime on Saturday 5th May, but I was having such a lovely, peaceful time that I managed to persuade them to let me stay in my bed on the ward until later that afternoon. That also meant we could fit the pickup around our daughter’s nap time.
When my husband brought our daughter in to meet her baby brother for the first time, it was a such special moment and I did well up a bit (I’m not usually a crier!). She seemed to think he was pretty exciting and kept saying ‘baby!’ very loudly over and over again. Seeing our two healthy babies together for the first time was magical. It was a brilliantly sunny day when we brought him home for the first time, possibly the hottest day of the year so far, just like when we brought our daughter home in 2016.
Breastfeeding a baby with cleft lip and palate
Despite the odds being severely stacked against us, our son decided the moment he was born that in fact he very much would like to breastfeed, despite having a cleft of his soft palate as well as his lip. He happily latched on within minutes of me being out of the pool and on the bed, and I enjoyed the very special moment of feeding him for the first time while the midwife ensured safe physiological delivery of the placenta. It was apparent to me straight away that while he was going to enjoy nursing at the breast, he was going to find it very difficult to get enough milk from that alone (there was a loud regular sucking noise which showed that his lips weren’t making a seal and he wasn’t achieving much suction because of the hole in his palate). I was very proud of him for having a go though and was told to keep putting him to the breast as it would be a good bonding experience for both of us and would help stimulate my milk supply.
Despite being told during my pregnancy there would be an almost zero chance of him being able to breastfeed if his palate was affected, I went on to exclusively breastfeed him from seven weeks (which is when we stopped giving him top-ups of formula from bottles) to over a year old. He defied all the odds and the cleft nurses at Manchester Children’s Hospital just couldn’t understand how we managed it.
I truly believe it was in part due to his incredibly calm birth, helped by all the techniques I learned through the Wise Hippo Birthing Programme. Signing up to the course is one of the best decisions I have ever made, and I am so excited that I am now able to teach it to other expectant mums.
If you would like to view the video I made about feeding a baby with a cleft lip and palate, please click the following link: